Acceptance
“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
It’s hard to believe that it’s already the middle of January and time for another blog post. So many of you wonderful people have been asking how I am doing, how I am coping with so much loss, disappointment and pain. At times I wonder myself how I’m coping and there are times when I fall apart. But on the whole I believe it has a lot to do with a word I am coming to terms with gradually: acceptance. I have had loads of time to think about that word, and I’d like to share what it has come to mean to me.
I have discovered that first of all, acceptance is being open to receiving love, care and respect from people who want to reflect back the love they have received from you when it was needed. To accept means that one doesn’t always have to be The Giver and that it’s really okay and important to be the receiver at times. In fact it’s a gift to offer someone their chance to be the giver and allow yourself to simply receive with grace.
I’ve also learned that acceptance is realizing that not everything were dream or hope for will necessarily come true. Sometimes we will be disappointed. Sometimes we will suffer. Sometimes we will not be able to follow our dreams. It may be that things we just took for granted we would always be able to do are suddenly unavailable to us.
Acceptance may also require a willingness to understand that some of the people we thought we could really count on just can’t be there for us for whatever reasons. However, as one of life’s great ironies, there are those who we least expected we could count on who become a constant presence and comfort to us.
Perhaps most importantly for me as I continue to explore acceptance, is coming to terms with the fact that what I hoped for, like regaining my full ability to walk, to swim, hike and climb hills might not be possible for me again. I may need to readjust my expectations and maybe the real hope should be that this crazy Paraneoplastic Syndrome just won’t get worse and take over more of my central nervous system’s ability to function. I’m trying to take it in bite size pieces and learn to accept each day one by one. I’m so blessed because there have been great doctors and nurses in the hospital I’ve been in who take such loving care of me and are helping me to work on healing.
I hope that all of you as you read this can learn to accept the things that come into your life – surprises both good and bad, the challenges and joys, the difficulties and the gifts. They are all part of our life and perhaps we have to learn to accept all as a gift. That doesn’t mean we become passive. It doesn’t mean we give up the fight to get better and work hard to have a quality of life that is what we hope and dream for, but it does mean we acknowledge that there are things that come into our lives that we cannot control. It means we need to embrace the unthinkable and begin to learn acceptance, a day at a time.
* What are some of the issues and problems that you are facing that may require your acceptance?
* Have you learned to accept certain things and then felt a sense of relief and peace once you did?
Beloved God, perhaps one of the most difficult things we face in our lives is to learn to be accepting of those things that we really cannot change. It is very complicated for us. We ask for your help, your guidance, your love.Help us to learn to trust you completely, that you will love us even when we are facing the toughest of times. Amen.
Joy, this is so beautiful and so poignant, and so helpful–an understatement, but I can’t think of an appropriate word. Acceptance is essential but so very hard. I think that’s where I’ve been, too, as I’ve worked through this. I talked with Jim Porter today, and suddenly it became real, your paralysis and pain. I think I have accepted too. Thank you for your incredible insight and strength.
Dear God, We know You are with us all in our various crises– physical, mental, spiritual–.even when we feel so alone. We do believe; help thou our unbelief. Amen
Hi Joy,This is so beautiful and heartfelt, thank you so much for always
sharing so much of your true self with us…
JOY THIS IS SO GREAT AND MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER MYSELF. I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW I AM STILL PRAYING TO OUR GOD AND FATHER FOR YOUR RECOVERY.
GOD BLESS
Joy this is so beautiful . . courageous . . and so YOU!
I don’t know all the details of your illness, but just know I was moved by the Spirit to send you a late Christmas card, and went into my electronic address book from 2000 (which still worked!) and the next day saw the email from your friend telling me of your current health situation. You have been and continue to be in my constant prayers.
As you have brought Joy and Healing to others through your many books, may God bring Joy and Healing to you in the most unexpected and beautiful ways, that only He can do.
Blessings & Love Always,
Catherine
Joy-your words are always poignant and thought provoking. We all are so blessed to know you and have you in our lives. Love you. Lori
Joy, this is absolutely fantastic. It really meant a lot to me and is very helpful. Please note that I am continually thinking about you, praying for you, and wishing you the very best.
Marilyn
Thank you, dear Joy. Your words are wise and inspiring. Thank you for writing and sharing, for helping us learn. Thank you for being who you are.
I send my love to you.
Barbara
Joy, your words continue to inspire. I hope to visit you when I am in Ny the last week of February. Love, love, love, Pauline
Thinking of you Joy. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. With fond memories and love, Karen
Thank you,Joy. This is so beautiful.
Thank you my dearest Joy, as always you lift us up and make us reflect on our own lives. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I am still trying to get to NY, snow has trapped me at the Charlotte airport twice now. I will make it and see u soon. Love, light, hugs and prayers all being sent to you. Love you. Helen
Joy, these were such beautiful, inspiring words..You are so full of grace and a mentor to all of us on how to handle those unexpected changes that we must accept, even when they scare us. You are in my prayers daily and my thoughts are with you as you traverse this highway of change in your life.
love, Donice Oden
How brave thou art! Nora has often spoken of you, marveling at your insight. I’m so glad to have finally had the chance to get to know you, albeit heart to heart, rather than face to face, and in cyberspace. Your comments on acceptance pushed me to an understanding of an old friend from childhood. I had been thinking in terms of “forgiveness,” but “acceptance” did the trick and is so humble and nonjudgemental by comparison. Thanks, as ever, for your teachings.