Changing Our View
I’ve learned that things change, people change, and it doesn’t mean you forget the past
or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the memories. – Unknown author
For better or worse, change is a part of life. It touches every aspect of our lives; relationships, home, work, financial, physical and spiritual. However, when change comes too rapidly, it may be frightening and feel out of our control. We likely do not realize that even when life speeds by, we can choose how we will respond to it, and that it is possible to experience gifts of peace, calm, and even joy during difficult times.
In the midst of a turbulent transition, we may realize just how extremely brief life can be. We might perceive our lives as rather sloppy; we haven’t been very careful about what we have chosen to do with our priceless days on earth and have lost track of what we hold as sacred. Indeed, it’s sobering to think that there might not be much time left for us to live. It can make us want to use our time in a more meaningful way. Perhaps if we lived our life as if we only had one day left to live, that sense of impermanence could heighten our feeling of preciousness.
Although scary, change can also provide us countless opportunities for growth. If we affirm every day that we are changing, growing, learning and we are filled with potential, we can gather wisdom from our life transitions and embrace a transformed life.
Yes, change happens and we can’t possibly know what the future will hold. As I’ve been experiencing an enormous period of change in my life, I’ve discovered first hand how vulnerable we are and how precious life is. Two years ago, I was hiking in the hills of Greece when my legs felt heavy. Within a couple of weeks, I could not move my feet or legs one step. I started falling down. After months in a hospital, I was finally diagnosed with something very rare and difficult to treat: paraneoplastic syndrome. There are only a few of us in the USA who are diagnosed with this syndrome and even fewer who survive.
The first year and a half after my diagnosis, I spent months in hospitals and rehab centers while the doctors tried to find a treatment that would help me. During that time, I was forced to cancel my upcoming workshops/retreats and speaking engagements, to give up driving my car, to stop gardening, to sell my beach house in Hampton Bays, and eventually to sell my apartment in Manhattan. I needed to live near Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida where there was a doctor who was trained and experienced in working with people who had my diagnosis. So six months ago, I made the radical change of leaving my lovely apartment in my beloved New York City and moved to a continuing care community in Penney Farms, Florida.
It would be easy to focus on all the losses I’ve experienced over the last two years: my NYC friends, my homes, my gardens, my city, my work, my ability to walk. But I made a conscious decision to concentrate on appreciating the many gifts I am presently receiving in my life – especially in the last six months in Florida. I now live independently (without caregivers) in a lovely cottage (with a guest room waiting for your visit) in the shade of two ancient and regal live oak trees with Spanish moss, I have made dozens of new friends in this very supportive and loving community called Penney Farms with scores of activities to do, I am out every single day in some way using a cane or rollator or even driving my new Subaru car! And I am now leading workshops and retreats, preaching, teaching, speaking, and singing. Perhaps most importantly I have the wonderful services of the doctors of Mayo Clinic, who are experts in dealing with my syndrome – who are helping to extend my life.
So I am grateful and in the process of changing my view on life. I now know that it is possible to make good choices about how we respond to the changes we have to make in order to live our lives. Even when we feel confused or sad or full of loss, it’s important that we stop, listen, and reflect, so that we can become aware of God’s loving presence near us – in people, nature, music, live oak trees, even Spanish moss.
- What are your greatest fears or concerns about change?
- Can you affirm to yourself that you are changing, you are growing, you are a learner, you are filled with potential?
- Can you integrate wisdom from your life experiences and turn it into a transformed life for yourself and others?
Beloved Creator, thank you for creating a world full of surprises and changes. When we are in transition on our journey or we face major challenges, help us to learn from our experiences. May we realize that you are always there for us, even during major changes in our lives. Amen.
Joy Carol
As always Joy Carol you are a great role model for every single person who passes your way. Thank you. You are an inspiration.
I was so very pleased to read that you are doing well. I have checked your blog many times to see just how you are doing and wishing to be reading your beautiful words once again. Thank you for all of your encouraging words, thoughts,and prayers in your books and on the blog. I feel so blessed to have known you during our younger years. You are indeed a gift from God……Janet Cole Lehfeldt
I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE FEELING BETTER. HAVE MISSED YOU, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN IN MY PRAYERS. THIS MAIL TODAY WAS SUCH A BLESSED SURPRISE. I ENJOYED IT SO MUCH. KEEP GETTING BETTER AND I WILL STILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS.
LOVE BILL C.
You look beautiful, Joy and your message is beautiful. What an inspiration you are. Wishing you many, days of retreats, etc. motoring around in your Subaru.
Dearest Joy, So delighted to read your blog. The courage and grace with which you encounter and overcome adversity take my breath away, and fill me with inspiration at the same time. You give us so much food for thought.
Love you and miss you,
Noranorano
Dear Joy, It was wonderful to read your blog just now and learn you are leading workshops, preaching, speaking and teaching and singing! What resilience! Elaine and I have missed you and kept you in our prayers. May your brilliant work bless millions…one beautiful person at a time. And might there be another book in gestation. Fondly, Evelyn
Dear Joy, We are so touched, moved and inspired by your blog thoughts. You are a beautiful writer, and we send all our love! Arthur and Kent
I met you once at Union and were impressed by you then and more so now..Your story is wonderful, real, and dynamic. Its a gift you gave and we received and we share and someone else receives …
Joy, thanks so much for sharing this. I can picture where you live and Bro Rex tells me overtime he sees you. I think of you often and am so glad you are back to doing what you do so well. Much love to you.
Myrt B.
Dear Joy! So nice to hear from You and that you feel better. Lots of love from Kirsti Johanne