December 28, 2009 at 10:27
Simple Things That Last

Over the years after the Christmas Holidays had passed, I frequently asked myself what would I remember about that Christmas. What would stay with me or last until the next year?

I recall people telling me how they often experienced a sense of let down after Christmas Day. They had prepared intensely for so long to get ready for Christmas that after it was over they sometimes felt disappointed, even a feeling of sadness and depression. Their expectations for a wonderful Christmas might not have been met. And there were the usual after effects of ripped-up wrapping paper, the returning of gifts that might not have been needed or wanted, a rather forlorn Christmas tree waiting to be un-decorated and disposed of or stored away. Somehow it felt like a come down after the big build-up to Christmas starting in late October with “Jingle Bells” and “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” being played in shopping malls and stores.

So this year following my family’s celebration of Christmas in a rather scaled-down, simple manner, I asked myself: What will stay with me this year? What has touched me in a meaningful way that I will remember, that will warm my heart even in the dark cold post-Christmas months of January and February?

Here’s what I will remember:
* The playing of the song “Mary, Did You Know?” before our Christmas Eve dinner at my sister Shirley’s home
* Hearing my great-niece Natalie Joy say she was thankful for the birth of Jesus
* Watching my great-niece Emily play beautiful Christmas songs on the piano
* Going for coffee with my niece Sheryl (That’s Sheryl & her daughters Natalie & Emily in the above photo.)
* Sitting around the table with my family eating delicious leftovers from the Christmas meal and reminiscing about our family
* Having a prayer of gratitude for the joys and blessings of our lives

So what is it that you will remember from this Christmas? What will stay with you throughout the coming year?

God, giver of the true meaning of Christmas – your son Jesus, help us to focus on what are the important things in our lives. Help us never to forget your love for us. May we be grateful that you gave us Jesus to show us the way to live. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

December 20, 2009 at 01:38

These Holy Days of Joy

Maybe I’m imagining it, but it feels like these days are very special – yes, I’d venture to call them “Holy Days of Joy.” This month I’ve sensed a kind of love, respect, and delight in the air that didn’t seem so prevalent last month.

During these weeks of Advent, I’ve witnessed compassionate acts taken by people from all walks of life. Many people seem to be smiling more, reaching out to help someone with thoughtfulness, sharing gifts of love. This year more people are giving a different kind of Christmas present: volunteering time at soup kitchens, driving the elderly to doctors’ offices, reading to children in hospital wards, raising money for goats in Africa. I’ve heard of children going to pajama parties bringing an extra pair of pjs with them which will be given to children of need. It appears there is more joy and generosity in the world these days.

As I think about this, I wonder if it may be my attitude that is making me feel that these are truly Holy Days of Joy. Maybe I’m more open to being hopeful so I’m able to see events and people in a more positive light. When I was a child growing up on a farm in Nebraska, my dad told me it was important to be open to good things happening, to the miracles in  life – that I needed to keep my eyes and my heart open or I’d miss them. So what does all of this say to us? Maybe if we stop focusing on the negative and are open to the miracle of life and of Christmas, we might witness more Holy Days of Joy and the Spirit of Christmas can be with us each day of our life.

Beloved Giver of Joy, we thank you for the gifts you give us each day of our lives. You are so generous to us. Help us to be open to the miracles of life and of Christmas, to every day being Holy and filled with your joy. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

December 14, 2009 at 07:43

A Simple Christmas

This year many people are feeling the crunch of a weak economy and fewer resources. Some people have lost their jobs, others are concerned about not being able to pay their rent or mortgages, most have seen their savings diminished. During this Advent Season, many of my friends have suggested: “Let’s not exchange lavish presents” or “We don’t need to give each other gifts – let’s simplify things and just enjoy each other with a meal or an evening together.” One friend said, “Why don’t we remember the true meaning of Christmas and pray together.”

Last week I spent four days with Jo, a dear friend who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Jo is an amazing woman – she’s always there when you need her. She helped me when I had brain surgery almost 17 years ago. She knows she has very limited time left to live, so she tries to make purpose-filled decisions. While we were together, she prioritized what she wanted to do: identify the people she still wants to be with; make a list of things she would like to do in the remaining time she has on earth; and reminisce about our memories – the times we have shared gardening, talking, laughing, and praying together.

During our last two days, we realized we had said everything that needed to be said. But there was one more thing Jo wanted to do: prepare for a “simple Christmas” so she would be ready for the coming of the Christ. In her backyard I cut branches from the holly tree and laid them on the fireplace mantle, we lit some candles and quieted ourselves to pray. It didn’t matter what words did or didn’t get spoken. We felt a sense of peace knowing that we were welcoming the coming of the Christ into our hearts. Jo’s “simple Christmas” was not about shopping for gifts or putting up a Christmas tree or mailing out cards. It was about being open to the healing presence of God.

Beloved God, sometimes our hearts are heavy because we are grieving, are afraid, or are uncertain what the future holds. Help us to slow down, to be open to the true meaning of Christmas, and to make the Season as unadorned and as simple as a baby in a manger. This is our prayer. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

 

December 07, 2009 at 03:52

Preparing for Advent

At the beginning of the season of Advent, many churches read the words from the prophet Isaiah: “Prepare the way of the Lord. Make his paths straight” I’ve often thought about those words and what they might mean to us as we go through this time of the year called Advent.

For many people, the month of December (the Season of Advent) is a busy, rushed time of people preparing for “Christmas.” There never seems to be enough hours in the day for sending out holiday greetings, for shopping for gifts, for decorating our homes, for attending neighborhood or office Christmas parties.

It appears that Advent often gets lost in the busyness, the hectic and demanding rush of preparing for Christmas. Even the sounds of popular Christmas music on the radio and in shopping centers are focused more on “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” than on “preparing the way of the Lord.”

Perhaps this year we can intentionally think about preparing for the gift of the Presence of God in our lives. Maybe we can be more conscious of God in our every day living and be more deliberate in reaching out to people in a loving and God-like way. Perhaps we can give people the gift of our presence through a phone call, a visit, a word of encouragement, a thoughtful note, a smile, a time of shared prayer. Let us truly enter this Season with an awareness of preparing the way of the Lord. Let us fill our hearts and our souls with God’s compassion and hope.

Beloved Giver of Life, at this Advent Season, help us to prepare the way of the Lord in our hearts, our lives, in our communities, and in the world. You have so generously shared your Presence with us. Now teach us to share that Presence with others in this holy Season. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

 

November 29, 2009 at 01:04

The Call to Prayer

Last week I had the opportunity to visit the beautiful country of Morocco. It is truly an amazing spiritual place. There are rich blue and green colors everywhere – in the sky, the sea, the gardens, the pottery, the mosaics, even in the tiles on the roofs. The architecture and scenery are restful to the eye, and the fountains, palaces, terraces, and gates are filled with intricately carved wood and exquisite mosaic details.

But it wasn’t just the sights or the scenery that took my breath away. What made me stop to ponder was our gentle and very devout guide Mohamed who each morning would begin our tour by saying that he hoped we had had a good night of rest – and he would add the words “by the grace of God.” Each evening he would tell us about the events of the upcoming day, the places we might go – and he would add ‘Inshallah” – if God wills it.

As we traveled through this lovely country we could hear the call to prayer five times each day: at pre-dawn, at noon, in the late afternoon, at sunset, and before retiring for the night. The call to prayer is a reminder to remember God’s presence and to seek God’s guidance, mercy, and forgiveness. The words “God is the greatest” are included in each call, and in the early morning call, the words “It is better to pray than to sleep” are added.

One day as I was standing in the market near Mohamed, and the call to prayer could be heard in the distance, he turned to me and said, “I’m afraid we don’t give enough time to God.” His words struck a deep chord of truth within me. We do not give enough time to God. We do not hear the call to prayer, we do not hear God calling us to pray.

Beloved God, help us to turn to you, to listen for you in every part of our lives. May we be aware that you want us to be in communication with you. Help us to hear you call us to pray.  Amen.

 

November 23, 2009 at 07:51

God’s Amazing Creatures

Several months ago, my friend Roger called to tell me the sad news that his much-loved cat Magic had to be put to sleep; her body filled with cancer. I knew Magic well because I often cat-sat for her in my apartment, and I had grown to love her too. She was a beautiful black cat, what I called a “spiritual cat.” Whenever Magic was a guest in my home, she was truly hospitable to people who came for spiritual direction. During prayer times, she would sit on the couch purring loudly. It felt like she was praying with us. So it was a heartrending day when Magic left this universe.

Two weeks ago, Roger’s daughter told him to go to the veterinarian where her dog got his shots. At the vet’s office there were two little black cats who looked like miniature versions of Magic. The vet told Roger that almost everyone who walked into her office wanted to adopt Jet, the female with big golden eyes. But she wouldn’t let that happen unless they also took Stevie, who was totally blind. Firefighters had found the two kittens, nearly dead, in a dumpster. The kittens were close friends, and Stevie relied on Jet to show him around.

When Roger saw the two little “Magic” cats, he said, “I’ll take them both.” So those lovely little creatures now live happily in the safety of his home. And they are blessing his life with their frolics and charming behavior. Often Stevie chases Jet around without bumping into furniture—relying totally on his whiskers and keen hearing. When he wants to get up on the couch, he puts his front paws up, assesses how high he needs to jump, and then does it. And so it goes.

The cats, like all of God’s creatures, are flourishing under Roger’s kindness and compassion. And Roger’s sorrow and loss is being softened by God’s amazing little animals.

Oh God, you have created all things in this universe— including every living creature. Help us to respect, appreciate, and stand in awe at the wonder of your beloved animals. Show us how to protect them with compassion and thoughtfulness. Amen

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com
November 16, 2009 at 08:04

Music as Prayer
I live in New York City, where almost every day there are opportunities to hear different kinds of fabulous music. This past week I went to an open rehearsal of the New York Philharmonic. An open rehearsal is a working rehearsal and is the last opportunity for the conductor and the orchestra to work out the details of the music. But because it is the final rehearsal, the music is played as beautifully as if it were the actual performance.

Given that I was running a little late that morning, I ended up finding a seat in the back of the concert hall. I usually like to sit close to the front so I can see the faces of the musicians. However, because I was too far back, I wasn’t able to do that. So, I chose to sit back and relax in my seat, to let go of all the things I’d been thinking about that morning, and to allow the music to take over. As I totally listened to Jean Sibelius’ Symphony No. 1 in E minor, I found myself absolutely captured and mesmerized by the breathtaking music. At some point during one of the slower movements, I realized that I was almost breathing in sync with the music and that it had lifted me to a completely different place than where I had been when I entered the concert hall. I began to feel that the music had been like a prayer for me, a time of peace, and a lovely gift from God.

Our lives are so full of external and internal noises. Perhaps we can occasionally turn off some of the noises and take the time to listen to music that can be a blessing and a prayer for us.

Beloved God, creator of music and giver of the gift of music. Help us to stop from time to time, to block out the noisiness of our lives, and to listen to your music. Teach us to pray with your music. Amen

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com
November 08, 2009 at 07:47

Our Purpose
Last weekend I returned to my home state of Nebraska and had the chance to relive old memories with former classmates and friends. It was a wonderful experience. I also had the opportunity to give a speech to the reunion classes at Wesleyan, my alma mater. In my speech, I focused on the subject of re-connecting to our purpose.

Having worked in a hospice program in New York City, I remember people who were dying saying how important it is to have a purpose in life and how essential to stay connected to meaningful work—be it paid or volunteer work. One 92-year-old Chinese-American man said that if people don’t stay connected to a purpose, they experience boredom. He vividly explained to me that the Chinese word for “boredom” has two characters in it: one stands for “heart” and the other for “killing.” So if we allow ourselves to be bored and without purpose, it is the same as killing our hearts.

When I lead workshops and retreats, I often ask the participants to tell me about their special gifts and how they use those gifts. Many people say, “Oh, I don’t have any” or “Oh, that thing, it’s really nothing.” Others say, “If only I had been smarter…or had more money…or had married someone special…or…then I might have…” Yes, it seems difficult for many of us to define our gifts and our purpose in life.

How do we use our God-given gifts and our time and our precious energy? How can we re-connect to a sense of purpose and meaning?  Is there something in our lives that yearns to be expressed?

Beloved Creator of all of our gifts, Thank you so much for the amazing gifts you have given us. Help us to identify those gifts and use them in meaningful ways. Help us to know our true purpose in life. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com
November 01, 2009 at 02:45

Returning to Our Roots

This weekend I’m traveling to Nebraska, where I was born and raised. My university, Nebraska Wesleyan, is giving me an award for my humanitarian work. Nebraska is one of those wide-open, big-sky states with awesome sunrises and sunsets. Growing up there, I was continuously reminded that the universe was an awesome place, and we were just a tiny part of the great cycle of life. My parents, Wilson and Alma Haupt, raised my sister Shirley and me on what I thought was a enchanting farm of haystacks, little lambs, mulberry trees, snakes, coyotes, and our dogs Brownie and Buddy.

My parents were hardworking, faith-filled, compassionate people. My father had such a respect for nature that he never plowed under the 20 acres of original prairie grass that grew on our farm since the days the Sioux roamed the Plains. He could have planted a cash crop, but he wanted to preserve the prairie so future generations could enjoy it too. As I grew up, I came to share my parents’ reverence for nature and its cycles. Birth and death were normal parts of life as we watched animals give birth and die. It was natural for children as well as adults to be in attendance at funerals. After all, we knew everyone died — Grandpa, the piano teacher, the mailman. The meaning of faith was affirmed each year when Daddy planted the fragile winter wheat seeds just before the harsh winter arrived. Then in the spring we watched the fields transformed as they came alive with the brilliant green sprouts of wheat.

Before I left Nebraska, I vowed I would do my best to try to make the earth a better place for all living things. Now as I return to the place of my roots, I want to reaffirm my commitment to helping make the world more compassionate and life-friendly.

Beloved Creator, we get too busy, too caught up with our stuff that we forget that you have made us stewards of this amazing universe you’ve created for us. Help us to remember our roots and to be givers of life and love. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com
October 25, 2009 at 06:59

Light in the Darkness

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
From where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
–Psalm 121:1-2

Last week I led a retreat for 62 women in the Appalachian Mountains in Eastern Kentucky. Since my flight was delayed because of bad weather in New York City, I arrived in Lexington when it was almost dark. By the time we had driven for 2 ½ hours to the retreat center in Hindman, it was raining, foggy, and very dark. I had no idea what was “out there.” It just looked dark and wet and somewhat frightening.

The next morning I peeked out the window and could only see fog and rain and a menacing darkness. During the two-day retreat, the picture didn’t change. And although there was much joy and light from the women’s participation at the retreat, I was beginning to doubt that I’d have the privilege of seeing the beautiful hills that the women described.

On Sunday morning, the sun burst through the clouds and lit up the valleys and hills. It was breathtaking to watch the sunshine burn off the fog in the valleys and to see the leaves of the trees burning with color. What I had thought was only darkness was transformed before my eyes to be truly an exquisite splendor. I found myself recalling the words of a wise friend who told me there will always be periods of darkness in our lives, but we do not need to fear them, that the darkness announces and welcomes the dawn. So we can look with hope to a new day, new joys, and new possibilities.

Beloved Creator of the hills, the light, and the darkness. Remind us to have hope in dark times and to lift up our eyes to the hills – even when it is dark. Our help always comes from you. Amen.

– Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com
October 18, 2009 at 04:49

Connecting with God
Recently I heard the hymn “Take Time to Be Holy,” and a phrase in one of the verses really spoke to me: “Be calm in thy soul.” It reminded me how important it is to pause and be quiet, to calm our souls, to be holy, to be prayerful. For me, prayer is a way of taking “time to be holy” and of connecting to the Divine. I visualize prayer as being like plugging an appliance into an electrical outlet or logging onto the Internet. I don’t really understand how that works, but I know when I “plug in” or “log on” something happens and I benefit.

For many of us, we may not always know how to pray, to whom we are praying, or how we will be answered. But if we are brave enough to try to make a connection, we just might access new energy and insights. And we may find that we will establish a live connection to God.

As a spiritual director, I’m invited to lead workshops and retreats on spiritual topics. As the facilitator, it’s essential that I ask myself questions about my beliefs – about God, prayer, my spiritual journey. I don’t always come up with answers, or they may be different each time, but I keep asking the questions.

What is my concept of God? What is my relationship with God?

What do I know (or not know) about prayer? How do I pray?

What is most comfortable for me when I pray?

What circumstances invite or inspire me to pray?

Beloved Creator, we are not sure what it means to pray correctly or to pray in such a way as to worship or to serve you. But we want to plug in and log on with you. So we offer what we have as our prayer. Amen

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

October 12, 2009 at 02:53

Gratitude
Early this morning when it was still dark, I woke up feeling a bit anxious about the problems of the day and the troubles of the world. I admit that at times it’s easy to feel discouraged, even overwhelmed, as we face the dilemmas and hurts of life. But before I got out of bed this morning, I remembered to say, “God, thank you so much for the gift of another day of life.” Not long ago, I had three close encounters with death including a lethal streptococcus infection, a serious accident as a pedestrian hit by a car, and a brain tumor. So most of the time my response to waking up to another day is “thank you, God.” And if for some reason I’m not saying “thank you,” I know I have some work to do with my soul.

Each one of us has heartaches and problems, but we also have something to feel grateful for. Maybe if we would pause and take stock of the good things in our lives, we would be more grateful. Gratitude is recognizing that God has lovingly given us many gifts –our life, our breath, joy, love, the beauty in the world. We cannot take any of them for granted. When we choose to be grateful, we will count our blessings and begin to create a better life for ourselves and for the world. So let us pay attention to God’s goodness and love and to the wonders that are in the world, and let us be grateful.

God, Giver of life, thank you for giving us another day. We are truly grateful that you love us and that you have shared your beautiful creation with us. We are overwhelmed by your faith in us. Thank you, thank you.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com
joycarol1@aol.com