Joy Carols Weekly Blog

A friend of mine recently told me, ‘Life feels like a fast-moving treadmill for me. I’m involved in far too many activities. I have too many problems and concerns to look after. I know I am too busy.’

Unfortunately when we get that busy, we don’t really have time to soak up the joy, the beauty of each day, the amazing world that God has created for us. In our busy-ness, we likely miss God in our lives. We need to slow down, to be less involved, to take time to listen to God, to live our lives as fully as possible. We are in need of Sabbath.

Recently I’ve been asked to lead workshops, even to preach, on the topic of Sabbath. It seems that many of us are living in a world that is moving too fast and we are longing for a healthier, more wholesome lifestyle. We likely feel overstretched, overworked, and financially insecure, and therefore are experiencing an imbalance in our personal and work lives. We may lack healthy and well-balanced connections with our partners, friends, family, even our community. All of this causes stress and anxiety, which has a negative impact on our physical, mental, and spiritual health. Our bodies are designed with a set of automatic responses to deal with stress, and this system is very effective for the short term responses (e.g., fight or flight) that we need when faced with immediate danger. But our bodies can’t distinguish the kind of stress we are experiencing and thus tend to deal inaptly with all types of stress in the same way.

I did a little research on how we can recognize when we are experiencing too much stress in our lives. Here are some of the signs and symptoms:

Physical: headaches, grinding teeth, clenched jaws, chest pain, shortness of breath, pounding heart, high blood pressure, muscle aches, indigestion, fatigue, insomnia

Psychosocial: anxiety, irritability, sadness, defensiveness, anger, mood swings, hypersensitivity, apathy, depression, feelings of helplessness, hopelessness

Behavioral: over-eating or loss of appetite, impatience, quickness to argue, procrastination, increased use of alcohol or drugs, increased smoking, withdrawal or isolation from others, neglect of responsibility, poor job performance

As life rushes us along, we hunger to have a more spiritual way of being in a world filled with instability, financial insecurity, loss, war. Although we yearn to nourish our souls and bodies, very few of us stop and take the time to play or to discover new ideas to restore ourselves. We rarely make time for ‘Sabbath’ in our lives. Yes, we need to hang out and laugh with God – and to heal our bodies and souls.

Lord, thank you for your love. We pray that you will refresh our souls and open us to your care, your guidance. When we are overextended, care for us with your loving presence. We call out to you to help us deal with this world of sorrow. Give us the will and desire to rest and restore, to heal our lives, to choose life. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

From time to time I’ve thought about what Jesus said when someone told him that his mother and brothers were outside waiting to speak to him. “So who are my mother and brothers?” he asked. And then he answered his own question: “Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother – and my family.” (Matthew 12:46-50)

In my August 16, 2010 blog, I wrote about being in Greece to celebrate my friend John’s 90^th birthday. At his party, John talked about the importance of having friends and family, and how much that had meant to him over the years. He said it was one of the most important parts of his life. So it was wonderful when John and his wife Nancy introduced me as part of their “family.” Whenever I spent time with them over the 30 years we knew each other, I felt totally accepted as a member of their family – whether we were working in the South Pacific (where John was the American Ambassador and where we first met) or in their garden pruning olive trees or swimming in the Aegean Sea or eating Nancy’s delicious meals seasoned with olive oil (from their own trees).

After John’s birthday party, I looked up the definition of family and found there were many including this one: two or more people who share goals and values and have long-term commitments to one another. I really like this definition; it speaks to me. I love and appreciate the members of my own biological family with whom I share a common ancestry. But I can also be a part of other families because we share common values and goals.

This past Christmas John left this universe and his wife Nancy (of over 60 years). It’s been difficult for Nancy; it’s not easy to lose someone precious who has been in your life for over 60 years. So for the last week, I’ve been spending time with Nancy in their home in France sharing stories, gardening, and just hanging out with her. I knew that as a part of John and Nancy’s “family” it was important for me to just be there.

Yes, I am grateful that I am a part of John and Nancy’s family and also a part of other families who share goals, values, and commitments. And I agree with Jesus: “Whoever loves God is my family.” After all, we are all children of God; so every one of us is a member of God’s family. Now that’s a rather awesome thought.

Beloved God, may we remember that you are our parent, that no matter what we do or how we act, we are always your children and members of your family. We need your guidance and help to be children worthy of this honor that you have bestowed upon us. Thank you for being our compassionate parent. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

Original Photo by Joshua South

Every now and then a special gift happens to us – a kind of miracle that brings so much joy and happiness to our lives. That gift happened at my church, the huge Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City. A few months ago Kent Tritle came to the Cathedral as the Director of Music and organist. In the short time he has been with us, he has brought so much life and light to the Cathedral. It’s hard to describe what is happening there. It feels like people have found a new bounce in their musical steps, and there has been a kind of musical resurrection.

Yes, we are lucky and blessed indeed! Kent is one of America’s leading choral conductors, and according to The New York Times, is “the brightest star in New York’s choral music world.”

Kent’s accomplishments and biography are quite unbelievable – yes, almost preposterous! He’s the Music Director of Musica Sacra, the longest continuously performing professional chorus in New York City, and Music Director of the Oratorio Society of New York, the acclaimed 200-voice volunteer chorus. He founded and directed Sacred Music in a Sacred Space, a concert series at New York’s Church of St. Ignatius Loyola. In addition, Kent is Director of Choral Activities at the Manhattan School of Music and is a member of the graduate faculty of the Juillard School. And if that’s not enough, he is also the organist of the New York Philharmonic and the American Symphony Orchestra, and the host of a weekly radio show “The Choral Mix with Kent Tritle” on WQXR. If you are interested in seeing more about Kent, his concerts, his degrees, and his many accomplishments, you can visit his website at www.kenttritle.com

But here’s the amazing part, Kent is very warm and accessible, and he has a heart as big as all outdoors – big enough to embrace and fill up the awesome space of the Cathedral (which is the largest Gothic Cathedral in the world). Yet he is humble, kind, loving, and full of humor. In one of his first concerts at the Cathedral, when he forgot to bring his music to the conductor’s stand, he smiled at the audience, ran out to get his music, came back waving at us and hugging the music to his chest as he returned to the stand. We have absolutely fallen in love with this awesome, gifted musician who has opened his heart to us at the Cathedral as if we were his long lost friends. And perhaps we were!

For many people, Kent became truly REAL on Ash Wednesday. Usually at the Cathedral we sing rather high church music (not always sing-able). But Kent has brought us back to sacred earth with superb music of all kinds ranging from Gospel music to classical favorites to what I call old-fashioned down-home music. As the Ash Wednesday service wound down, Kent slid onto the piano bench and began playing “Softly and Tenderly, Jesus Is Calling.” I don’t believe there was a dry eye in the Cathedral as we sang that hymn. Thank you, God, for giving us the gift of Kent and this miracle of music.

Oh, God, you do tenderly and softly call us back to you through the gift of music. Thank you so much for sending Kent to us – to help us remember how to celebrate you with music, to sing unto you a new song for you are worthy to be praised. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

PLEASE NOTE: Due to my upcoming work, travel, and gardening schedule, until further notice I will be writing my blogs on the 1^st and the 15^th of each month – not every week. The next blog will come out on the 15^th of April, then on the 1^st of May. I suggest you sign up to be notified of my blogs. Just go to the right hand column of this blog page where it says ‘Subscribe via Email’ and enter your email address. You will receive notifications of my new posts by email – at no cost. Thank you.

I’ve been pondering the meaning of the next few days as we move from Palm Sunday to Easter. When Jesus came down from the Mount of Olives riding on a donkey toward Jerusalem, the crowds were ecstatic. They laid their garments and palm branches before him and cheered and praised him shouting ‘Hosanna!’ This triumphant parade signaled the beginning of Holy Week. But as Jesus rode into Jerusalem, he knew he was riding into the valley of the shadow of his death.

When Jesus entered the city, he knew there was going to be trouble. Likely, his first followers must have wanted to go back to the ‘good old days’ before the unpleasantness began. But perhaps they and we need to remain here for a while – in this dark place where Jesus journeys, where we too must journey.

Holy Week is filled with stories of betrayal, false accusations, abandonment, denial, crucifixion, death. As we think of this, where do we fit in? Would we rather jump ahead from Palm Sunday ‘Hosanna’ to Easter ‘Alleluia’? Will we betray, deny, abandon Jesus?

Imagine what it was like to have been in the Upper Room at Jesus’ last supper. This part of Holy Week is truly breathtaking. I see Jesus silently kneeling before his disciples, insisting on washing each one of their feet. In this amazing love, he touches them – not just their minds or hearts but also their dusty, dirty feet. He does this as one last act of compassion, of utter devotion and loyalty to them. He does this with the full awareness that their loyalty will soon fade away. And what about us? Do we allow Jesus to take our dirty feet and our ‘dirty’ lives into his hands and to cleanse them? Or do we say: ‘You shall never touch my dirty feet.’ Jesus serves his friends in what I consider to be an astounding way. And then he gives them a new commandment that they love one another just as he has loved them. And he says: ‘I have set you an example. You are blessed if you do this.’ (John 13:17)

I can’t help but think about the disciples and the promises they made that evening – to stay with Jesus, to fight or die with him, if necessary. Yet they disappear into the shadows of the Garden of Gethsemane and evaporate when they see the Roman swords. On their freshly washed feet they abandon him. With his ‘body and blood’ still on their tongues they betray him. Peter, his vocal supporter, denies him saying, ‘I do not know the man!’ And what about us? What do we do?

Distance isn’t really an option for us this Holy Week. We need to come close to Jesus, to let him bathe our feet, cleanse our minds and hearts, and touch our souls.

Beloved Jesus, Son of the Living God, have mercy on us. We are like your early followers – running away, denying you, abandoning you. Forgive us. Help us to have the courage and strength to follow you – even through the valley of the shadow. You are our Beloved. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

PLEASE NOTE: Due to my upcoming work, travel, and gardening schedule, until further notice I will be writing my blogs on the 1^st and the 15^th of each month – not every week. The next blog will come out on the 1^st of April, then on the 15^th. I suggest you sign up to be notified of my blogs. Just go to the right hand column of this blog page where it says ‘Subscribe via Email’ and enter your email address. You will receive notifications of my new posts by email – at no cost. Thank you.

This week I found myself falling in love again with what I call my beloved New York City. We’ve been called many names over the decades. In fact when I looked up names for NYC on Google, it listed 98 names the city’s been called ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. Here are a few you may or may not have heard: ‘The Big Apple,’ ‘The City that Never Sleeps,’ ‘The City of Cities,’ ‘The Capital of the World,’ ‘The Melting Pot,’ ‘The City of Friendly People,’ ‘The Wonderful Town.’ I believe all of those names – and many more – fit this special place – my home town. It’s a place of diversity, divinity, distinctive art, delicious food, distinct music, and plenty of dirt.

So have any of you been to my home town recently? These days there are a lot of folks on the streets and in the subways who are tourists. It’s quite easy to spot them because New Yorkers tend to be dressed in black clothes, and many out-of-towners might be wearing red or green even pink. But in any color or culture or language, people are welcome to my home town. If someone is holding a street map or looking around trying to figure out where they are, almost immediately they are surrounded by New Yorkers asking if they can be of assistance: ‘Can I help you? Are you lost?’

This past week a woman from Virginia told me she was looking for a church and realized she was lost. Suddenly a stranger, a New Yorker, appeared and asked if she could help her. When she explained where she wanted to go, the stranger started to give directions about how to get there. Then she stopped and said, ‘Oh, never mind. I can take you there.’ Which is what she did – before she turned around and retraced the 6 blocks she had walked with her in the opposite direction of where she was going.

Talk about hospitality and love toward strangers! I am reminded of the Hebrews 13 scripture that reads: ‘Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.’ Or the words from Matthew 25: ‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in…’

If the Christ walks in my home town or in yours, will we ask if he needs our help?

Welcome Holy One to my home town – and to all of our homes. Forgive us when we close our eyes and our doors to you. May we learn to be more open, to show hospitality to the stranger, and to entertain angels without knowing it. Thank you for loving us even in our inhospitable moments. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

Last week I led a Lenten Retreat for a very special group of women in California. They were incredibly open, receptive, and unguarded – willing to share their thoughts and feelings from their hearts. The focus of the retreat was on experiencing Lent through the Passion of the Christ. The retreat was held in the Serra Retreat Center in Malibu – an absolutely stunning place nestled in the mountains overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was a most sacred weekend.

As I prepared for the retreat, I came to believe that Lent is not just about penitence or guilt or giving up, but rather a time for deep introspection. The Lenten Season can serve as an annual invitation for us to draw closer to God, to look at our lives – not so we may severely criticize ourselves but rather that we can identify obstacles that keep us away from God. As we explore such barriers, we may be able to gently move them out of the way and come closer to God’s love. Perhaps then we will feel real life and love – the very love we celebrate on Easter morning.

So for the women at the retreat – and for me, our experience together offered us the gift of time and the possibility of drawing closer to the Christ. Although self-examination was part of the process, we did not sit long with any guilt we might have had about our wrongdoings or our faults. We understood that such a process would have gone against the Gospel message about forgiveness and new hope, as shown by the life of the Christ.

But we knew that in order to arrive at a transformed or new life it was important for us to name parts of our lives that are in the dark, where life has difficulty flourishing. So we started our retreat in the wilderness, as Jesus had done, and began to transform our own wildernesses – the barren and chaotic parts of our lives – into places where we could invite God in.

As we proceeded through the Passion of the Christ, we went through Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and even Easter. Perhaps the most meaningful part of the retreat for me was when we left the chapel (where we remembered the Passover meal in the Upper Room) with our candles and moved into the garden to experience Christ’s agony in the Garden of Gethsemane. There we asked ourselves: If we had been there, would we have stayed awake? Or would we have fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion or fear? Are we awake today? Do we abandon, deny, or betray Jesus in our daily living?

Yes, so many thoughts and experiences to help bring us closer to God. May we ask ourselves such questions this Lenten Season.

Beloved, during this Lenten Season, we know that you call us to draw away from the roaring noise of the world, to strive to do what is right, to lay up our treasure in heaven. Give us the strength to listen to you and to follow you. May we grow in holiness as we go forth on this Lenten journey with you. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

For the last two weeks, I have written about Gary, a recovering alcoholic and addict, who even to this day continues to reach out to help others. On September 11, 2001, from his office Gary saw the twin towers of the World Trade Center collapse. Although in pain from a bad case of the shingles, he wanted to do whatever he could. So he asked God to use him. As he prayed and walked, he ended up in a Triage in Hoboken, NJ, where he listened to people tell their stories.

Often as Gary worked through the day, his thoughts went back to the time when he had been homeless because of his alcohol and drug abuse, how he had no hope, and how his life seemed to be over. But that day in the Hoboken Triage he was being used to comfort people who felt hopeless – just like he had. He felt like a wounded healer.

Late in the day as Gary was taking a break, an exhausted emergency health worker sat down beside him. He said to Gary, ‘Would I like a drink! But I can’t do that. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and I’m feeling a little bit sorry for myself. Tonight I was going to celebrate my three years of sobriety, but I won’t make it. I need to be here.”

Without even thinking, Gary reached into his pocket and took out his recently earned three-year sobriety coin. He took the worker’s hand and put the coin in it. ‘Well, here is your three-year anniversary award. Congratulations. You certainly deserve it,’ was all he could say. They hugged promising to remember their mutual three-year ‘celebration.’

After midnight, dazed and exhausted, Gary finally reached his apartment. It had been a long day. His body ached, and he was covered with ashes and dirt. Although he wanted to fall into bed and sleep, he knew he had to take a shower. As he rinsed the soap from his body, he was shocked to see that his painful shingles blisters had turned into scabs. He watched in wonder as the water washed the scabs off his body and down the drain.

Somehow that day Gary had been healed of the shingles. But that healing seemed small to Gary compared to the spiritual healing that took place inside him. He understood that the more he listened and the more people were helped by him, the more strength he received. Gary learned an important lesson – that the way to heal yourself is not to focus on your own difficulties but to give yourself in service to others.

Sometimes, when we are tired and hurting from our tribulations and afflictions, we may find that reaching out and helping others in need is the most healing thing we can do for ourselves – and for others. By responding with courage and compassion to suffering and loss, we may find deeper meaning and significance in our lives.

Beloved Healer, we thank you for the lessons we can learn from you and from one another. We ask that you teach us to truly trust in you, to learn to follow your example of reaching out to others – even when we are exhausted or in pain or in doubt. May we remember that you are our great healer. We thank you. Amen.

Joy Carol

www.joycarol.com

Last week I wrote about Gary, a recovering alcoholic and addict, who from his office saw the twin towers of the World Trade Center collapse. He asked God to use him and started walking and found himself in a Triage set up for victims from the towers. Although in pain from a bad case of the shingles, he wanted to do whatever he could.

All volunteers at the Triage were given tags to indicate their function. Gary’s tag had a Purple Cross on it, meaning his job was to provide “pastoral care” to the victims. He was told to listen to people, bring them food and drinks, and console them. He felt qualified to do that because he’d already been through hell himself as an addict. He knew his experiences in recovery would be useful because he’d learned how to listen to others who were suffering from fear and confusion.

Hundreds of survivors from the Towers were being brought across the Hudson River in private boats and ferries. They were wounded and in shock. At one point Gary saw a man totally covered with ash. It seemed strange but he had an oddly joyful grin on his face. When Gary asked him if he wanted to talk about what had happened, he took out a business card from his pocket and said, “My name is John and you will be the first person to hear my story.”

Shortly after John arrived in his office on the 84^th floor of the first Tower to be hit, he heard a deafening crash. His desk was thrown across the room toward the window. As he looked out, he saw the sky was filled with papers, debris, smoke. “I was the fire marshal for my office, so I grabbed my flashlight, put on my hat, and told everyone to form a human chain and follow me. Just then everything went pitch dark. It was impossible to see even a few inches in front of us.

“As we entered the stairwell, we realized we couldn’t get through because there was a fallen beam. I don’t know where I got the strength to do it, but I was able to get it free. The next thing I knew some ‘eight footers’ were helping pick us up and taking us down the stairs. Before I knew it, all of us were safely down the stairs.”

When Gary asked what John meant by “eight footers,” he answered, “Oh, you know, those great big eight-foot angels. I have no idea how we got down or how we managed to carry some people all the way down those 84 flights of stairs. But suddenly we were on the street outside the building. It felt like a miracle.” It felt like a miracle to Gary too.

(Check next week’s blog for the completion of Gary’s story of hope and service.)

Beloved God of Hope and Miracles, we are such doubters of your power, of the amazing things you can do for us. Thank you for Gary’s story of hope. As we begin this Lenten Season, may we allow our hearts and minds to be open to miracles, to hope, to new growth. And may we be of service to others. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

‘Gary, is that you?’ I asked. There he stood holding the huge processional cross at my church, the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in NYC. I couldn’t believe my eyes; I hadn’t seen Gary for almost 10 years. We laughed, got teary eyed, hugged each other around the long staff of the cross, and processed down the aisle.

I first met Gary shortly after the tragedy of 9/11. He was a member of the congregation that worshipped at the Cathedral. As we got to know each other, he told me his story. I want to share his story of hope with you over the next three weeks.

During the first week of September, while on vacation with his family in Ohio, Gary broke out with a bad case of shingles. The doctor told him he’d likely have them for at least six to eight weeks and offered to prescribe painkillers. But Gary refused to take them. As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, he wasn’t willing to take any chances. At a party with other AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) members in Ohio, Gary celebrated his three-year anniversary of being clean and sober. He was given a three-year sobriety coin. Then on September 10, Gary returned to New York City – a day earlier than scheduled. He wasn’t quite sure why he felt compelled to return that day.

On the morning of September 11, although tired, Gary went back to work. He took the subway to the World Trade Center, had his traditional oatmeal breakfast in the South Tower at 8:30, and talked with friends who worked in the Towers. Around 8:45, he called his mother in Ohio to tell her he was back in the City. She asked him: “Gary, are you on your way to work? Your shingles aren’t well enough. Go home. You’re on vacation.” They laughed, and Gary went down the escalator to the PATH train for the ride under the Hudson River to his office, which had moved out of the South Tower to Jersey City.

By the time Gary arrived at his office, the first tower had been hit. The staff stood and watched in horror as the second tower was struck. Soon they were told to go home. As he tried to decide how to get back to Manhattan, the first building collapsed. It had been only a few minutes earlier that he had been there eating his oatmeal with his friends.

The only thing Gary could think of doing was to pray the AA prayer he said almost every day: ‘God, I offer myself to Thee – To do with me as Thou wilt.’ He began to walk, thinking: ‘If God wants to use me I’ll walk into an opportunity of service.’ By 10:30 he found himself in Hoboken about the same time that a Triage was being established by emergency workers, Red Cross volunteers, police, and health workers. He was one of the first civilian volunteers to arrive at the site. Although he felt scared and in pain from the shingles, he wanted to do whatever he could.

(For the next two weeks I’ll continue with Gary’s story of hope and service.)

God of hope, we need to learn how to offer ourselves to you, so that you can do with us as you will. Yet, we are stubborn, full of our own wishes to do our own will, not yours. We ask for your understanding, patience, and forgiveness. We ask that you show us how to be of service to others. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com  

Last week Mayra, a beautiful young woman whom I work with as her spiritual companion, was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Mayra is a brilliant woman, a professor with a Ph.D., and is the mother of a precious little boy. Often such frightening and devastating news can easily throw us into a state of shock and into a questioning of our faith. ‘So where is God in all of this?’

One of the people who heard about Mayra’s situation said to me, ‘I just don’t understand: why would God give her cancer? She seems like such a wonderful and good person. Is God punishing her?’

I hear Mayra responding to these questions: ‘I’m a child of God, and God is truly my parent. So God loves me just as much as I love my own son. But even though I deeply love my son – as much as anyone can love a child, I know that there will be things that can go wrong in his life. He will fall, he will get hurt, he could be in an accident. At some point he could get a life-threatening disease. Even though I love my son as much as I can love, that does not prevent tough things from happening to him. When my son is hurting or sick, I can hug him, be with him in his difficulties, reassure him constantly, and give him my support and love and strength. That’s what God does and that’s what God is doing for me during this illness. Getting cancer is part of the human condition, but God has his arm around me all the time. He will give me love, strength, and the courage to walk on this journey – even with the cancer.”

With Mayra’s understanding and courage, we too can be open to God’s love and not be fearful of something going wrong. What a wonderful gift of grace and freedom Mayra offers us.

Friends, we need to realize how important it is to pause and rest, to be present, and to relish life. We need to stop engaging in negative and stressful activities and focus on ‘healing’ activities like taking long walks, eating healthy food, imaging positive outcomes in our lives. Is it possible for us to take time to talk with our family and friends, listen to peaceful music, watch sunsets, smell the flowers? Mayra would tell us to do so.

Dear God, you love us, your children. Your love is strong and enduring. You do not harm us or bring us grief. You are our loving parent who offers us strength and support. The path we walk on is filled with challenges and struggles, but your love will sustain us. Thank you for holding Mayra – and us – close to your heart. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com