Joy Carols Spiritual Blog

Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent
as a sunny spring day. — W. Earl Hall

Most of us love the season of spring, and we get excited just thinking about flowers, blossoms on trees, multiple colors of green. We especially look forward to it after a harsh, cold winter. This year I’ve heard many people say: “It feels like it’s been a very long winter.” Every time we thought that winter had ended, we got one more surprise – a snowstorm, a heavy rain or wind storm, temperatures dropping below the freezing mark.

The word “spring” comes from the Old English meaning “the place of rising or issuing as in a wellspring, the source of a stream or spring.” Actually the word seems to have an optimistic ring to it – it makes us feel more energetic and lively.

It appears that spring has honestly and finally arrived at last. I think of spring as an almost magical time, because as the colors explode with vividness and freshness I feel my soul waking up to the joy of life. And for me, there’s the added special pleasure of working in the soil and dirt of my garden again. As Margaret Atwood writes, “In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” When I raked up the remains of the debris left from the fall and winter, I could see the perennial flowers sticking out their tiny heads – almost as though they were looking for the sun’s healing light. Yes, it seems that another miracle has occurred!

Perhaps more importantly, spring is a tangible reminder of some spiritual and psychological truths that we often forget, so we might want to heed the lessons of winter’s dormancy. Just as nature needs its inertia or “down time” to regenerate, so do we. The cycle of winter followed by the glorious birthing of spring reminds us that our times of dark distress, misery, and loss can actually produce the seeds of new promise, new hope, new life. Spring brings in growth and joy, and we too can find ourselves understanding that all is not lost, that there are many surprises just around the corner for us, that God is at work in our life.

Yes, most of us love and yearn for this special, almost astonishing season – especially after a cold winter. But we can get complacent or too busy and we might miss the gifts of spring.

I’m wondering what you love about this spring season? Do you appreciate the Creator’s brilliance as you experience the warmer days and the glorious colors that shout out around you? Do you set time aside to be refreshed by the sounds and sights of spring?

I believe God is inviting us to enter into a deep and meaningful relationship with this extraordinary season of the year. May we soak it up and watch our own souls blossom and grow, much like those amazing flowers. Let us celebrate and delight in the wonders of spring.

Beloved Creator of Spring, thank you for the gifts of beauty and new life that we experience in this season. Help us to learn the lessons of this season. May we pause from our busy-ness and our distractions and bask in the peace and hope of this miraculous season. Amen.

Joy Carol
Joy carol.com

On April 28, a group of my dear friends from different walks of my life held a Celebration of Life for me. On the invitation to the event were written these special words from poet John O’Donohue:

Now is the time to free the heart,
Let all intentions and worries stop,
Free the joy inside the self,
Awaken to the wonder of your life.

Open your eyes and see the friends
Whose hearts recognize your face as kin,
Those whose kindness watchful and near,
Encourages you to live everything here.

And celebrate we did! We felt encouraged to live everything! People shared great food, friends sang, danced, played the guitar and the piano, laughed, and we had a truly joyous occasion. Yes, it’s one of those times when words can’t really express the feelings or the joy that we experienced. As I looked around the room at the people I love, it seemed that O’Donohue’s words had hit home: “Open your eyes and see the friends whose hearts recognize your face as kin.”

The pictures tell the story: (click on photo for full size slide show)

* Hosts Andy Cooper and Emily McKhann (the son and daughter-in-law of my late dear friend Goldy Cooper; they have become like my own children).

* My close girlfriend Katrina Valenzuela from the Cape dancing a gorgeous classical Egyptian dance. My cousin Mitch Raftery is at the piano – he regaled us all evening with awesome music.

* A spiritual companion Chantilly Pickett strumming the guitar and getting everyone to sing along with great enthusiasm.

* And, of course, that’s me enjoying every moment of the Celebration of Life.

If you’ve never had a Celebration of Life event, I highly recommend it. Take the time to celebrate the amazing life God has given you!

Divine Creator, you created us in your image. You have given us the gifts of enjoyment, music, laughter, dance, poetry. Thank you for all of this. May we remember that as your much-loved children, we need to take time to be grateful, to free the joy inside us, to awaken to the wonder of our lives. This is our prayer. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

A name pronounced is the recognition of the individual to whom it belongs. He who can pronounce my name aright, he can call me, and is entitled to my love and service.    – Henry David Thoreau

Last week at church we read Psalm 30 that includes the well-known 6^th verse: “Weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning.” What a glorious line! After the service one of my friends said to me, “Aren’t you glad you were named Joy?”

Yes, I am happy that my parents named me Joy. Before my birth, when my family lived on our farm near Clatonia, Nebraska, they were blessed to have one daughter, my sister Shirley. However, they knew that my mother’s health would not allow her to have many children, and they needed a son to help them with the heavy farm work. They hoped that the baby she was carrying would be a boy, and they planned to name him David Charles – a lovely name for a boy. But when I was born, they realized they had not yet chosen a name for me, the unexpected baby girl. At the last minute, they said, “Let’s call her Joy. She will be a joy for us!” I’ve often wondered if my parents naming me “Joy” influenced the way I view life, the way I look at the world. With an expectation of being a joy for my parents, perhaps I unconsciously felt the need to lead a life filled with joy.

For centuries the value and the power of a name has been observed and celebrated in religious ceremonies, prose, and poetry. After all, we recognize ourselves by our names. When someone says our name even in a crowded room, our brain responds to it. Ever since we were born our names have been linked with attributes, the things people have said to us in adoration, respect, love, judgment, anger, criticism.

As a result, there are many emotions that may be related to the sound of our names – some are uplifting, some upsetting. When we hear our name spoken out loud, we may feel the emotions that are encompassed within this powerful symbol. Do we feel confident, positive, and proud, or do we feel a sense of insecurity, unworthiness, even shame?

Perhaps a name can influence our character. Therefore, it’s important to take good care of how we use people’s names. We value and treasure the sound of our name being spoken with love, respect, admiration. And we feel the pain when we hear our name being used in a critical, belittling, or blaming way. Perhaps even sadder is when no one calls our name, and we begin to feel invisible – that there is no “me” – that’s what abandonment must feel like.

If we are lucky, we may have positive people around us who praise us and build us up. But even if we don’t, we can learn to talk to ourselves in encouraging ways. We can be loving fathers or mothers to ourselves and tell ourselves how much we are loved every day. “You did a good job. Well done. You are a child of God, and God loves you deeply.” Let’s always treat our name and other peoples’ names as sacred, because that’s what they are.

Beloved Creator, thank you for loving us, for being our caring father/mother. May we remember that indeed we are your much-loved children, that you call us by our name. Help us learn that life is sacred and that we must treat our names and others’ as blessed. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

Holy Week – the last week of Lent – has come and gone. For Christians, the purpose of Holy Week is to relive and participate in the Passion of Jesus (the theological term used for the events and physical, spiritual, and mental suffering of Jesus in the hours before and during his trial and execution). As we look back at the entire week, we might want to do more than remember Jesus’ last days. We may understand that life is not just about newness and joy, but also about the darkness of betrayal, denial, fear, and despair. Reliving Holy Week gives us a chance to examine our own faith journey.

Palm Sunday: Jesus entered Jerusalem in triumph with crowds waving palm branches and shouting their affirmations that he was the messiah. But only a few days later, the crowds cried out for his execution. We might ask ourselves if we too are easily swayed by the psychology of crowds. Do we want God only on our terms?

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday: Although we are not clear about all of Jesus’ activities during this period, we know that it was an intense time. It is believed that Jesus chased the money-changers out of the Temple and preached and taught in Jerusalem. As we think on those three days, perhaps we can focus on the impact of his work on our own lives and on the world.

Maundy Thursday: Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, shared the last meal with them, gave them a new commandment to love others as he loved them, felt the sorrow of Judas’ betrayal, prayed in agony in Gethsemane while his disciples slept, and was arrested. Perhaps we can remember our own denials and betrayals of God, of others, of ourselves. We can also ponder what it means to “wash each others’ feet” and to love as Jesus loved. Would we stay awake and pray with Jesus or would we too fall asleep?

Good Friday: Jesus was arrested, put on trial, crucified, died, and was buried. On this day, Jesus said from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” What about us? Can we ask for forgiveness and for help in being more forgiving?

Holy Saturday: Jesus rested in the tomb. As we consider this day, it may be a good time for us to slow down, to wait and reflect, to be quiet, and to ponder the darkness of the world without God in it.

Easter Sunday: This was the day when Mary Magdalene met the risen Christ in the garden and thought he was the gardener, the day the angel told the women at the tomb that Jesus was risen from the dead, that he was and is alive. Do we recognize Jesus walking amongst us? Or do we think he is the gardener or the bum on the street corner? Perhaps we can pray with gratitude for the love of this risen Christ.

Beloved Christ, we have just gone through this holiest of weeks. Help us now to ponder the meaning of each day of your last week and of the impact of them on our own personal lives. Help us to learn from these days of pain and joy and to start our lives anew with the risen Christ. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

To dwell in the Lenten desert and make it bloom requires that we indulge in neither guilt nor vainglorious fantasizing, but struggle to know ourselves as we are. In this process we will not escape sadness and pain nor joy and hope.    – Kathleen Norris

The Lenten Season provides us an opportunity for deep introspection. It can serve as a yearly invitation to come closer to God and to look at our lives, not to condemn or criticize ourselves more harshly but to identify any blockages or obstacles that keep us from God. As we look at such obstructions, we can gently move them away and come closer to the Love that gives us life, the Love whose victory we celebrate on Easter.

So in many ways, Lent offers us a gift – a time for contemplation and self-examination, and the possibility of drawing closer to God. Although self-scrutiny is part of the process, we should not sit too long with guilt or shame about our wrongs, our faults. That would not fit with Christ’s Gospel message about love, mercy, and new life.

Perhaps during the Lenten Season, we can identify the parts of our lives where life does not flourish. Then we can work to transform this wilderness into a place where it will bloom, a place where we can invite God in to stay.

We may find that striving to be a disciple, a follower of God can be difficult work – more difficult than we expected it to be. It demands a life of compassion, prayer, and forgiveness. So we will want to invest our lives with as much hope, courage, and strength as possible.

At the last Supper in the Upper Room, Jesus said, ‘Unless you allow me to wash your feet, you have no part in me.’ ‘I have set you an example. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.’ He also said, ‘One of you will betray me.’  In the Garden of Gethsemane, he asked his disciples, ‘Can you stay awake with me? Are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour with me?’

During this Lenten Season, let us open our hearts to Jesus’ words. Let us look at the obstructions in our lives that keep us from flourishing, from blooming, from feeling the presence of the Divine in our everyday living. Let us ask ourselves if we will allow Jesus to take our dirty feet and our ‘dirty lives’ into his hands and to cleanse them? Will we deny, betray, or abandon him?

Divine Creator, thank you for sending your son to earth – not to condemn us, but to save us and redeem us. May we be worthy of this gift. During this time of Lent help us to remove any obstacles blocking the way to you. May we not deny, betray, or abandon you. Help us to draw closer to you, to feel your Presence in our hearts, our lives. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

When you awaken to courage, it becomes an exciting, life-enhancing force that will lift you back into your power and guide you home to your authentic nature.

–Debbie Ford, Courage: Overcoming Fear and Igniting Self-Confidence

These days it’s rare to meet someone who has real courage – the ability to confront and accept pain, loss, fear, danger, intimidation, uncertainty, even death. A wise teacher once taught me an old saying that goes something like this: “When you can accept people and the world as they are, you are a courageous person. With courage, you can deal with the world’s problems without despair.” According to my teacher, acceptance makes it possible to take necessary appropriate actions. But, it requires courage.

During times of pain, suffering, or loss, most of us would prefer to be spared; we may even try to deny what’s happening. Yet everywhere we turn, we soon discover that there is no way to escape. After all, losses are not moveable or transferable no matter what we try to do or say. But we can learn from people who are able to accept and find meaning from their losses, who understand that accepting and embracing even the shadow side of life can make them more real – like the Velveteen Rabbit.

My girlfriend Carol is a true woman of courage – someone I deeply respect and appreciate. During Superstorm Sandy, her beautiful apartment in Staten Island was nearly destroyed – not just the walls, floors, and furniture, but also her special photo albums and her 40-year collection of Frank Sinatra CDs. Although Carol mourned these losses, she had a courageous sense of acceptance as though she knew she would learn from this experience, that something good could come from it. She had patience with the government, her insurance company, her contractor. She believed that family and friends would help her to pull through. I was amazed at how she kept her spirits upbeat and positive even when she was homeless or when she was “promised” again and again that the furnace “will be delivered tomorrow.”

Last week a furnace and hot water heater were finally installed – over 100 days after the storm. We celebrated this great victory in her slowly-recovering-home. With the new furnace in place, she camped out in her apartment one night to try it out. “It was wonderful,” she said. “I felt I was home at last.” God give us such courage!

God of courage, Thank you for being near us even when times are dark and we are afraid. Help us to know that we are not alone, that there may be purpose even in the darkness. May we find the courage to accept and learn from our suffering and our losses. May we always remember that you are our light. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. – Charles Dickens

“I don’t know, but right now my losses feel like too much for me to cope with,” said a sad 54-year-old woman. She had recently lost her job in a bank – the week before she lost her apartment and her dog in a raging fire, followed three days later by the death of her mother from a heart attack. It was indeed too much to bear.

These days it seems there are a lot of suffering and losses surrounding us. In the last month, I’ve been with people who have suffered from:

- loss of a job
- loss of health
- loss of friends or family members because of misunderstandings, a move, even death
- loss of a pet
- loss of their homes from storms, fires, or defaults on mortgages
- loss of their sense of confidence
- loss of support
- loss of a sense of hope

John O’Donohue wrote in his book To Bless the Space Between Us,
“Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.”

We live in a culture that encourages us to presume that we have the ability to control what happens to us, our destiny, the forces of nature, illness, even death. We take pride in our independence, that by our own efforts we can take care of all our needs. Therefore it may be difficult for us to face the fact that we are indeed needy, that we will have enormous losses during our lifetime that may leave us without security or safety or hope – even without people to help care for us. We will need courage to face such an uncertain future, to learn to walk roads that may be lonely and desolate.

Perhaps more than ever, when we feel a deep sadness in our souls, we need to gather together to embrace one another’s sorrows, to hold each other when we are crushed in spirit. Then, although we may feel that we can barely survive the darkness of our brokenness, we can stand with one another with a tiny spark of hope in our hearts. And we can renew our strength and our faith under God’s protective wings.

God of the brokenhearted, make your presence known to all who have suffered loss, who have experienced the heartaches of life, who have shattered hopes and broken dreams. Assure us of your love during times of suffering, disappointment, and loss. May we learn to comfort one another and to cast our worries and our fears on you, knowing that you care for us as our loving parent. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing
some people have entertained angels without knowing it. – Hebrews 13:2

I’ve been thinking a lot about angels lately. In several recent retreats that I’ve led, the concept of “angels” has come up – mainly about the ones in the Scriptures who have said “Do not be afraid.” Those were the words the Angel Gabriel said to the young Mary in an out-of-the-way village. They are said over and over again in the scriptures – often by angels. Those words might not take away the source of our fears, but they are a promise of God’s presence even in terrifying times. As Amy, a woman said at a retreat in Washington State last week: “Maybe those words aren’t just meant to be comforting to us. Perhaps they are a command to not allow our fears to take over when we are in difficult situations.” Yes, the angels may be telling us that we might need to invite hope, peace, and faith to stand with our fear.

According to information I found on the Internet, angels are mentioned at least 108 times in the Old Testament and 165 times in the New Testament. The word angel comes from the Greek word aggelos, which means messenger. The matching Hebrew word mal’ak has the same meaning. The Bible also uses these words for “ordinary people” who carry messages (Job 1:14, Luke 7:24, 9:52), prophets (Isaiah 42:19, Malachi 3:1) and church leaders (Rev. 1:20).

I don’t know about your experiences, but the appearance of “ordinary angels” seems to take place every now and then for me – and in the most everyday circumstances. I’ve seen people in NYC rush to help a person who has fallen down. I’ve watched people pay the bus fare for a visitor from another country who doesn’t understand English or who doesn’t have the correct change. I’ve heard kind words spoken by strangers to someone who is terrified at the scene of an accident. And recently I experienced an “angel” friend whom I had not seen for over 40 years who held me and cried with me at our mutual friend’s funeral.

Perhaps we all can become angels when we respond to a need that shows up, and we allow ourselves to give over a part of ourselves to make a difference. And maybe as angels we can make love, compassion, and forgiveness more present in the world.

Thank you, God, for the gift of your angels who tell us not to be afraid. May we learn how to pay attention to their messages. And thank you for those angels who show up just when we need one in our life. Help us to learn to be angels for others and to give a part of ourselves to others in need. May we make a difference in the world by pouring love and joy into the universe. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

Sometimes there are people in our lives who are just there for us, who are open and loving and giving, who are so over-the-top-special that we can’t imagine living without them in the world. My friend Clint Franke, who departed this universe a few days ago, was one of those people.

I first met Clint, his wife Diane, and his daughters Debi and Laurie, when I was working in Jacksonville Beach, Florida as a teacher – years ago. The Frankes adopted me like I was part of their family, and to this day I’ve always felt that I am. So I’ve traveled to Florida often to be with “my beach family.”

From the time he was a very young child, Clint had a passion for aviation and travel which led him to a long career with Eastern Airlines until he retired. He also enjoyed finding homes and renovating them. One day he found the perfect place in the mountains of North Carolina and there he built his dream home – a beautiful log cabin surrounded by trees, hills, and birds – a place he loved and shared with many of us.

I have many wonderful memories of times with Clint and his family. They opened their home and their hearts to me – loving me, caring for me, feeding me great food, making me laugh. Whenever I visited them in Jax Beach, Clint insisted I drive one of his groovy cars – usually some kind of hot convertible. He told me I looked real cool behind the wheel, that all the guys would definitely notice me!

I remember one very special time when Clint took me to the airport. As I was walking toward the plane, he yelled at me, “Hey, pal (his term of endearment for many friends), don’t forget I love you!” Clint truly was the love of many of our lives, and I thank God for the gift of Clint, our amazing pal.

Mary McDonald, who grew up with Debi and Laurie and practically lived at the Franke home, wrote a beautiful tribute to Clint. I couldn’t say it better, so with Mary’s permission I am including it here.

a love well lived
by Mary McDonald

He gave us mountains and Mexico,
rides in convertibles and rides in the skies.
He gave us laughter that left us radiant and
helplessly in tears,
and glad to be together.

His was a love well lived.

No matter the size of our needs
or the shape of our troubles,
he fit us perfectly
into his home, his heart, his family.
He was a creator and collector,
but the finest thing he made was room in his life
for all of us, his best and most beloved collection.

His was a love well lived.

He cheered our small triumphs,
winked at our mischief
and turned a blind eye to our shortcomings.
If he ever thought less of us,
he kept us safe from knowing,
seeing only our goodness
so that we could see it, too.

His was a love well lived.

He was the parent, the grandparent,
the spouse and the friend
we are meant to be,
always showing the way to the high road,
the only road he knew.
When we went to his side to see him off,
to say goodbye,
we could only sing our thanks
for a life, and a love, well lived.

Thank you, God, for creating someone as special as our pal Clint. May he be an example to us to learn to live life fully, to be hospitable, generous, and kind. We pray that Clint is driving his groovy convertibles around heaven right now with many of his friends who are already there. I’m sure he is looking “real cool.” Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com

It’s good to have the opportunity to start a New Year – again. It really is a valid reason for us to celebrate. As the dates change on the calendar, we have an opportunity to see if we should consider making changes in our lives. We have a chance to take a look at our old habits to decide if we have become accustomed to doing too much, or doing things in a certain way just because it feels easy or secure – rather than appropriate or God-inspired.

Perhaps our “spiritual life” has become too comfortable, and we might not even realize that we have become spiritually stagnant or sluggish.

So when the beginning of this New Year rolls around, it’s time to ask ourselves some questions, to take stock, to do an assessment of what our life is all about. Perhaps then we can begin to understand if we have blocked out opportunities and options because of our concerns or our fears of the unknown.

Let’s ponder such questions as: Are we keeping ourselves too busy with our routines, our usual patterns of doing things? Or are we open to starting afresh and experiencing a newness of life? Are we willing to unlock our hearts and minds so that we can see fresh ways we are being called to serve? Can we open doors to a deeper relationship with God?

Yes, this New Year may be a good time for us to start afresh. It may be an occasion to discover a newness in our living, a springtime in the seasons of our lives, a new vitality and energy in our being. Perhaps it’s time to unlock some long-closed doors and to crack open our hearts so that we can hear and experience joy and hope in our lives. And maybe we will find that God is truly present in our lives.

Giver of new life, help us to start afresh this New Year. Make us open to your life-giving words. Crack open our hearts and wrap us up in new skins. May we be ready to honor your teachings and follow you wherever you may lead us. Amen.

Joy Carol
www.joycarol.com